Motherhood: Transitioning from One to Two Kids

Hi guys!

Since I last checked in with you, my little family has grown by an extra two hands and two feet! While I’m not quite ready to share baby B’s birth story yet, I wanted to talk a little bit about our transition from one to two kids.

So here it is; the raw, the honest, the real.

I’m tired, you guys…. sooooo dang tired. In fact, as I write this, my eyes are literally closing. They’re also swollen because I’m battling an awful eye infection, I’ve basically been living in leggings and nursing tanks, and I’ve probably left the house a grand total of three times since our son was born a little over three weeks ago.

Life with a two year old and newborn is EXHAUSTING (mostly on the part of the two year old, haha). I’ve also forgotten what it’s like to sleep in two hour increments during the night. Today alone I’ve had three cups of coffee and still feel like a walking zombie.

Anyway. These are the first “real” photos I’ve taken since becoming a mom of two only three weeks ago. So many dark circles under my eyes that makeup hides so well. I think it took me a good two hours to actually do my hair and makeup, which made me feel a little bit more human and like myself.

  

Honestly, most days I don’t look nearly as put together as I do here. Most days I’m covered in spit up, drowning in laundry and rocking yesterday’s (or the day before’s) messy bun. Most days I’m trying to just keep us all alive until my husband walks in the door. And speaking of husbands… I’m so lucky to have one that drops everything to change all the diapers the moment he gets home so that I can quickly shower and feel semi-human again… usually not without a good cry first.

You see, this transition to a family of four has been hard. Much harder than I thought it would be. I had this crazy idea in my head that the transition would be a breeze for A, my oldest, who is also a serious mama’s boy.

Haha… how wrong I was.

We are now in the midst of two year old tantrums and three week old growth spurts. And unfortunately, I can’t be in two places at once, so someone always seems to end up in tears (usually joined by myself).

The love in my heart has grown by leaps and bounds since having our second son, but at the same time, the mom guilt has doubled and intensified. If I’m holding my newborn, I feel guilty when my two year old tries to get my attention. If I’m playing with my two year old, I feel guilty for not holding my newborn who is often content just hanging out in his crib. When I’m tandem nursing both boys, I feel guilty for pouring so much of my heart into both of them that it seems my husband only gets the remains at the end of the day.

I feel stretched thin in every direction, like there isn’t enough of me to go around and make everyone perfectly happy.

I’m still trying to figure out how to balance this new way of life. I don’t know how to give enough of myself to a newborn, a toddler, and a husband while still maintaining a sense of identity.

I won’t lie that it’s hard. I won’t lie that most days I cry.

I cry a lot.

But the most ironic part is that in the depths of struggle, my heart has never felt more full, more alive, more joyful, more love. It’s truly the strangest paradox and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Can anyone else relate?
How did you feel about the transition from a family of three to four?

Xx

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Sweater / Jeans- sold out / Booties


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15 comments on “Motherhood: Transitioning from One to Two Kids

  1. Oh dear! I wish you all the best and stay patient! I’m 100% sure you’ll balance and manage this new life. No one said it was easy but I’m sure you’re a strong woman and an amazing mom for your two boys! Thinking of you and sending you lots of energy!

    Btw: You look amazing! You’re after baby body is beautiful. <3

    Xo, Sara | missesviolet.com

  2. This is obviously a very trying time and you must feel so over stretched. Luckily we all know that this stage won’t last forever and you have 2 lovely, healthy boys that will always love you. You are really looking fabulous 3 weeks after birth and you are coping really well. Expressing your situation as well as you have also helps with dealing effectively with it. Great post that many will be able to relate to s well.

  3. First off you look amazing Girl! I think everyone wears leggings and t shirts for months after having a kid…honestly that is what I wore today and I don’t have a newbie babe so….for me it was easy to transition but that was just my experience. Also there is a huge difference from 2 to 3, which my oldest was 3 when the second was born. I would tell you to take it easy on yourself. Right now life is intense and as the 2 year old adjusts to being a big brother and the newbie adjusts to life it does get easier. You’re in the thick of it now and I wish I could come do your dishes and clean your house so you wouldn’t have to worry about that part.

  4. Transition to 4 seems like so long ago. My easiest transition was from 2-3 kids and hardest 3-4 though 1-2 was close. I can relate to so many of those things. I’m not normally a crier but I do just go and lock myself in my room when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Getting dressed and getting out definitely helps even if it’s just to target! You look fabulous girl- you sure you just had a baby?!?! Love the sweater!!

    <3 Jamie http://www.mommyinflats.com

  5. I’m sorry you have cried so much during the transition! You’re a beautiful mom and will one day soon learn the balance. I’m so happy your heart has grown so full!

  6. I hear you on taking time to put your self together. As a SAHM of 4, I don’t usually put make up on, I did yesterday and was like “Wow who is that woman in the mirror!?”. My babay #2 was a very big mama’s boy, which made babies 3 and 4 hard on him. I always felt guilty for not being able to snuggle or hold him as much as I did before the other babies.

  7. Oh girl I think this is one of the most beautifully written posts I have seen. The struggles of motherhood are so real and we can be so hard on ourselves. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job being a wonderful mama to those two babes. We always get wrapped up in mom guilt over so much, but you ARE rocking it! And really, mom buns just get better when they are day 2 or 3 😉
    xo

    Katrina
    http://www.katrinagwenrose.com

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